My writing day is typically on Mondays, so I try to start thinking of what I want to write about over the weekend. Here I am now, walking around Target on Monday “getting things done”. Going through my mental checklist of things that need to be checked off sooner than later, I’ve started wondering what I’ll be writing about later today. It is on the list of things to check off after all.
My initial thoughts are that I have nothing. I’m dry. We’ll, I guess I have a few droplets left in the well because I do have ideas for next week and other days that are simply not for today- words that I’m ready to write but the timing doesn’t seem to be there yet. The reality is that if I’m truly honest with myself, I do have something to write about. It’s not a perfectly packaged moment in my life so maybe I shouldn’t share it. I will though.
Over the past week or so, God has gently reminded me in the way he so often does that I have thrown out my word of the year for this week. That word is ‘intentional’. It seemed like a good word to focus on at the time, but the more I’ve journeyed throughout this year, the word just keeps getting harder and harder.
These past few weeks have been exceptionally harder. Rick and I have moved into our first home as new home owners. With that, came packing, coordination, getting movers, setting up utilities, turning in our old keys along with the myriad of other “normal” things like laundry and feeding ourselves. I let myself get lost in the mix. I wasn’t being intentional. I was busy and not anything even close to a “good” busy. At best, I was distracted.
The funny thing is as I’ve walked alongside the word ‘intentional’ this year, I’ve noticed something. There’s another word that walks hand in hand with it. That word is ‘grace’. I didn’t expect her to come saddling up when she did. The more I hang out with ‘intentional’, the more I have to let ‘grace’ follow me around. The more I have to accept her in my life and the more I have to accept her for myself.
Isn’t that so stinking hard? Not only am I trying to be intentional in every area of my life, I’ve had to become more okay with grace too!? That seems like too much. It’s not too much though. God extends his grace to us daily. We should be able to as well. That’s so much easier to say than to do. Actually forgiving myself when I mess up or when I realize everything is out of whack because I haven’t been intentional in anything over the past few weeks is a lot harder.
This was convicting for me this past weekend. This week, I’m stepping into working on new routines and being intentional in everything I can be. It’s not a quick little jump back in, but with ‘grace’ and ‘intention’ by my sides, we’ll get there in no time. Maybe you need to step back after the whirlwind past few weeks, reflect and ask yourself some of the same questions I am.
Questions I’m Asking Myself
Am I being intentional in my relationships or just hoping they keep on keeping on?
Where is my time going? What can I quit so that I can be more intentional elsewhere?
When was the last time I was truly intentional in my relationship with God?